Simping for Capital: The Cult of the Curated Investor List

In the courtship rituals of modern fundraising, there exists a peculiar form of digital simping: the obsessive fawning over “curated investor lists.” Like suitors armed with a Rolodex of names but no real intimacy, startups fire off pitches to anyone vaguely associated with a term sheet. It’s Tinder for term sheets, only without the swipes—and far too much ghosting.

On the surface, these lists promise access. Handpicked, filtered, ranked. “The top 50 biotech investors in Europe,” they boast, as if capital is a commodity and not a relationship. You pay, download, and feel a rush of optionality. But within minutes, the illusion crumbles. What you’re often left with is a stack of outdated emails, misclassified sectors (no, fashion-tech is not healthcare-adjacent), and the sinking realization that these names are as responsive as a ministry department in August.

At Capital for Cures, I’ve received inbound interest simply for having “Capital” in the company name—from fintech platforms to hair serum startup with an AI-driven go-to-market strategy. (I’m not bald, yet.) It’s flattering in the same way spam is flattering: you’re being noticed, but not known.

The deeper problem isn’t just bad targeting. It’s the mindset these lists cultivate. They encourage what VCs politely call a “spray and pray” approach, but which in any other context would be diagnosed as a lack of basic situational awareness. When founders blast out non-tailored emails to 200 investors, they’re not building relationships—they’re burning reputational capital. Investors, unsurprisingly, can spot a mail-merge from a mile away. And nothing says “I’ve done my homework” like opening with "Dear [First Name]".

Worse still, these lists lull founders into the false belief that fundraising is scalable. That more outreach equals more capital. But fundraising, especially in healthcare, is artisanal work. It requires intellectual fit, timing, and often, an uncomfortable amount of humility. Investors back theses, not tourists. You can’t outsource alignment.

Now, that’s not to say one shouldn’t build a pipeline. But the investor CRM is a map, not a compass. A well-curated pipeline still demands hand-crafted outreach. What do they care about? What have they invested in recently? What baggage do they carry from past failures? If you don’t know why this investor, at this time, for this round—you’re not ready to hit send.

The tragedy is that these lists appeal most to the founders who can least afford the wasted effort. First-time entrepreneurs, solo operators, those outside the usual networks. They buy lists hoping for leverage. What they get is latency.

So, if you must use a list, treat it as a starting point. Filter aggressively. Tailor your message. And for heaven’s sake, stop simping. You’re not auditioning for attention—you’re offering partnership. And that, unlike capital, cannot be commoditized.